Being Fat and Having Sex

More cushion for the pushin’. No but seriously, I think it’s a beautiful thing when a bigger woman is able to own and accept herself as a sexual being.

– Clare

We asked 17 of our community members to talk about their size and sex. We were amazed by the authenticity and vulnerability that we received from all of you and thank you in advance for sharing your intimate stories with us.

We’re featuring Clare (The real author has decided to stay anonymous) today and we have to say, her attitude and confidence brings us joy. Let’s hear what Clare had to say about her cushion for the pushing. 

What’s your size? 22/24

Is sex important to you? YES! On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d rate its importance to me at 9.5. Sex (good sex) is my stress reliever and my opportunity to connect with my partner and express my love when words aren’t enough. Saying I love you is one thing, but being able to look in his eyes in the midst of making love and seeing the tenderness and devotion and trust in them, that’s the stuff you can’t put into words.

How has your sex life evolved over time? I lost my virginity at 21, I was very self conscious and not vocal about what I liked or didn’t like and the guy I lost it too was a mediocre partner, great penis but poor execution. I met my first husband at age 22 (FYI he is 18 years older than me) and let’s just say he wiped away EVERY single inhibition and insecurity I had about my body. Now at 30, I have the confidence to tell my man what he’s doing wrong in a heartbeat. I may be a bit brash now, but I feel like closed mouths don’t get fed and as my best friend likes to add, closed legs don’t get head. 

What’s hard about your size & sex? I don’t really have a hard part that directly relates to my size. I get tired during sex but so do smaller women, I sweat but so do smaller women. I tend to not compare myself in those terms like, “If I were smaller I could do X,Y,Z” because that’s not true. I’m super flexible and I have a friend that’s really thin who is not. All women are different and have different sexual talents…PERIOD. Doesn’t matter if you’re big or small, that generalization needs to die a slow painful death.

A time when you felt shame? I was dating a man that was separated from his wife and supposedly going through a divorce. I found out that they were nowhere near getting divorced, but were just split for a while. Even after I found that out, I slipped back and had sex with him one last time. Sex with him was typically amazing but that time I felt low and used like a rag doll. I never called him again after that and I cut ties with a lot of guys I was casually dating. 

Sex & size advice:

Just do it! Let go of your inhibitions, relax and just be in the moment. The person you’re with should be honored that you chose them to have an encounter with.

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